Ice and Lavender

Her body jolted with a surprised look on her face and a strike of momentary fear while she was startled. The greeting was so soft, it wasn't as if she was so traumatized by the events that a mere arrival had spooked her, but she'd been so lost in the silence and the gentle crackle of the fire in front of her she hadn't expected a voice. She exhaled a slow shaky breath, pressing a hand to her chest as she calmed herself and her mind set off to soothing her since she was in no real danger. Angel was both a surprise and not at the same time. She was aware she'd be in the castle tonight, but perhaps she thought that everyone else would be long asleep by this hour after being exhausted and fearful for the last couple of days since the attack and the journey home.

"Yes, I supposed I should." she agreed, her gaze fluttering downwards as she folding her cold pale hands in her lap. The microscopic diamonds of ice that had stood up in surprise at Angel's arrival folded down over one another, so minute and small that one would have to be looking extra closely to notice the slight change in the ice's reaction to the queens. As Angel spoke again she looked to the dog and paused, deciding in that moment whether she was going to lie to her or not. Something told her that if she did the dog was a little too clever, too familiar with her already, to actually fall for it.

"Well," she started slowly, deciding for an in between option, "what are we going to do about it if I'm not?" she smiled, but there wasn't much that seemed very happy about it. Her point being that whether she was okay or not she was still the queen of a kingdom that needed a ruler. In the broad scheme of things, if she wasn't okay, it didn't change that she'd be required to get up and do things the next morning.

"I guess I'm not the only one who can't sleep," she noted, gesturing to the opposite chair with her next question, "will you stay?" she invited. There was something that laced her voice that while being an invitation also somewhat sounded like a plea. She didn't want to be alone, and if Angel had come looking did that also mean she was in the same boat? It didn't feel so far-fetched of a leap to make. She hoped she wasn't making the room too cold, she often had difficulties with detecting what she put off, but the fire should have kept the room tolerable. Although it combated her waves of icy air the frost itself remained in tact and didn't melt, perhaps due to the near direct contact with its source, or perhaps because of the lingering storm of anxiety brewing within her.

Elsa looked somewhat appreciative as Angel gave her usual wit and clever banter. It was nice to have some form of familiar normalcy after the events on the road and the following days of fear. Being back within Arendelle's walls and hearing her quip brought a sense of comfort, but the reality quickly returned as she shifted and the sharp pain bit back angrily upon her shoulder. The wounds were tender, and Madge had given her something for the pain and the swelling, giving her instruction to watch for infection and advising her that it'd be her biggest worried provided she didn't get to physical in the next few days. She laughed, somewhat dryly as Angel shared her own experience which was quite different from her own.

"Well, I too avoided the cone, believe it or not." she joked. Her smile was not entirely void of humor or joy, but there was something rather bothered about it. A worried tarnish upon its linings that didn't quite make it the carefree or pleasant expression it should have been. When Angel spoke again her expression faltered, plunging into a strained concern as she looked down and away from Angel as she carried on. There was a strike of anxiety that clenched the air, tightening the room with a sharp iciness for the moment her emotions flared and reacted before the warmth of the fire dispersed it evenly again. As the canine continued to spared her a glance or two to show she was listening, and not angry, but the queen seemed unable to hold her position for long and found herself looking away quickly again. When she finished it was a long while before she spoke, her lips parted as she tried to decide where to even begin.

"You were the only warning we had. It would have been much worse for all of us otherwise, we at least had a chance." she uttered, arguing Angel's worth. "How could any of us been prepared for that?" she asked. Under the circumstances, they couldn't have done better, but her voice caught in her throat as a sly voice rang in the back of her mind.

She could done better.

She furrowed her brow, eyes growing mist as fluttered her lashes to will away the potential of tears. She wouldn't cry in front of anyone, not subjects, not even Angel. Elsa sniffed, rolling it into a deep inhale that filled her lungs and made her wounds twinge at the stretch of her skin. Not enough for a reaction though, and she shook her head again.

"Besides, you could argue I messed up as much as anyone else, if not more." she added. Elsa had missed almost every mark, and more than likely made every wrong call for the situation. She wasn't combat ready, but she knew she could do more. She knew what she was capable of. She could blanket the lands in an eternal winter, build a palace with the stomp of her foot, but in the face of danger she'd absolutely choked. And further, she'd hurt someone, not just anyone, but Angel. Her icy eyes slid towards the dog in the seat, low enough to not meet Angel's gaze but it lingered upon the patch on her hind leg. The white sprouted forth from her creamy fur with the sheen of her icy blue. She thought that she'd gotten that under control, that her fear would no longer consume her like it did when she was just a girl.

She was wrong.

"Angel. I'm so sorry." she scarcely whispered, a tremble in her voice as she quickly averted her gaze from the dog. She'd had her tended to by the trolls, they banished the spread of the curse as they'd done for Anna before. It could have been so much worse, at least while it struck her leg they had more time to get her help. It could have been so much worse.

Elsa's eyes slid curiously back to Angel when she finally spoke again. Her words felt combative against one another, but as she pondered it she gathered her meaning. Did that apply so easily to her, as it might have to Angel? Elsa wasn't so sure. At one point after everything that had happened with Anna and Hans she'd thought she had understood things better and was doing the right thing by taking the bull by the horns and plunging Arendelle into the cause. She still didn't think it was wrong, but she often wondered of her own capabilities and qualifications. Did her people look to her in confidence, or did they look at her and feel she was as lost as she sometimes felt?

This time Elsa watched Angel's expression as she spoke, her attention focused as she shared her experience and thoughts. She hadn't thought about how Angel felt about the whole thing or that she might feel responsible. It hadn't crossed her mind at all, she had been so concerned that everyone was looking at her with scrutinizing eyes for not keeping them all safe. For not saving Angel... Better. And actually succeeding instead of floundering about like an inexperienced child. She'd taken the blame for something entirely out of their control, but Angel was the one who was also hurting for it. Elsa felt a guilty knot of dread ball within the core of her chest, like her body was forming braids around her heart. Her expression faltered as she carried on to speak of failures, a look of worry crossing her face as if she were about to receive a much deserved scolding. But Angel, for all her smallness and simplicity, offered only what seemed to be comfort and wisdom. If she wasn't feeling so emotional she might glorify how remarkable it were, but Angel's words hit too close to home. Elsa turned her face away, tilting her head back and staring at an unimportant spot on the ceiling instead. As if it helped to hold any tears at bay. It seemed to.

She straightened out again, her shoulder stinging as she'd tried to square her shoulders to her usual posture before curving her shoulder back down to accept less strain. At Angel's final words Elsa had tilted her head to regard her sideways, unable to look her straight on with a sheepishness. The words were... Esteemed. Elsa wasn't sure if she deserved them but they made her chin tremble just a little all the same.

"I'm a lot of things," she laughed with a sniff, "I don't know that hero is one of them." she said. Although it wasn't entirely self depreciating, she sounded more amused with a feigned 'agree to disagree' tone. Her spirits were at least marginally improved, the smile upon her face timid but grateful as she tucked her legs a little closer to herself.

"I guess there wasn't much we could do. And there sure isn't anything we can do about it now." She sounded firm. "Except move on." It was unlikely her mind would let her rest so simply, there were still things she was bothered and upset by. Still things that made her feel like a failure even in the face of Angel's encouraging words. Still, the small canine had helped her more than she'd realize and she looked tender, if not a bit hesitant, when she spoke next.

"Angel. You know whatever happens... You'll have a place here, in Arendelle?" she said. Pressing her lips together and swallowing she then laughed, almost nervously, as if realizing that sounded like she was going to adopt her like some sort of pet. She regarded her more than a house-pet, perhaps it was the change in the worlds or even their relationship. But it felt like opening her home to... A friend.

"If you ever needed, of course." Elsa added, brandishing a timid attempt at a smile and hoping she wouldn't misunderstand the offer.

Elsa gave a smile in return. Weak, but tender and accepting. She relaxed some, her shoulders visibly losing tension from her anxiousness moments ago that Angel might misunderstand her intentions. It seemed they were so alike in a lot of ways, the simple gestures passed between one another needed little explanation, if at all. That was nice. And unexpected. Elsa gave a more pleasant sigh as she looked back towards the fire once again as she let them plunge into silence for a moment. Until Angel spoke again, asking of her powers. She opened her mouth with a small tut as she cast her gaze down, frowning at the hardened tea within the delicate china cup that rest on the table between them.

“My curse…” she said it almost as if to correct Angel, more due to her being unable to view it as anything else.

“I’ve had them since I was a girl. They’ve always been… A little temperamental.” she decided. Without looking at Angel she continued with a frown that tugged on her face.

“The Trolls should have halted it. I don’t think yours..” she paused to glance at Angel’s leg, “is anything to worry about.” That didn’t make her feel any better about what she’d done to her, however. She was unsure how continue. Honesty seemed like it might be a good place to start. Her frown gave way to an attempt at a smile that appeared more timid than she’d probably intended.

“No powers for you, that I know of.” she offered a slight bit of humor while remaining apologetic.

“My sister got it.. Pretty bad. Once.” she explained with difficulties, nearly stammering her words out as if she were deciding on them in that moment. Well, technically Anna had been her victim twice. But Angel didn’t need to be stirred up over the details. Elsa pressed her lips together and shook her head.

“I can’t always control it.” Obviously. “And when I can’t, bad things happen to people I care about. The curse can be stopped before it spreads, like yours, but if I hit the wrong spot. Even once.” she sighed. It was called the Frozen Heart curse for a reason. She imagined Angel could put two and two together well enough without her having to lay it all out. She was lucky that it’d only latched onto her leg and not the heart of her little canine body. They’d have never gotten her back to the Trolls in time, and Elsa didn’t know that she could undo it like she had with Anna by way of that miracle.

Elsa attempted something of a smile, but it was too worried to come across as such a pleasantry and instead landed somewhere within an anxious grimace. Her own gaze rested upon the stripe of white fur as Angel looked to it as well, but was unable to linger there for long as she glanced away with a furrowed brow. The consequences of her powers still weighed heavily on her, pressed her with a fear when she was faced so directly with it. She couldn’t hide them away like she’d previously tried to, and even now she was almost expected to use them. Alternatively, what would have happened if she hadn’t, that day they’d been ambushed with the wagon? No outcome seemed favorable when she looked at it now, although she liked to imagine some sort of miraculous solution where they’d have somehow come out on top.

Safe.

And not a frozen stiff leg or shredded to ribbons by the massive wild cats that riddled the Cursed Thorns army. Bruised and battered by their blindside. Just as she began taking responsibility in the vicious circle of her thoughts, Angel continued. It was as if she’d read her mind and Elsa quickly looked to her, almost guilty as if she’d been caught. Their struggle for understanding and desire for control rang truthfully in her own heart and mind. Control, that she understood, had never actually been within her grasp anyways. And apparently Angel as well. As she explained her past experiences Elsa’s gaze slid down to the carpet between them, listening thoughtfully with only a slightly bothered expression due to the saddening nature of her past. The look she wore was not of pity, but of solemn understanding. It was in that moment she realized how similar they really were at their cores.

“Never thought I’d have so much in common with a dog.” she admitted lightly. There was a touch of humor to her tone that extinguished any possibility of her comment being demeaning. She had never meant for that, and the good nature of her meaning came across plainly with her gentle smile. Although it was a little tired, resigned by the abnormalities of this world. It was moments like these that made her thankful for the merging of the worlds. Opportunities given to meet someone like Angel that she wouldn’t have otherwise had. Her lighter tone exchanged for something a little more serious, although respectfully curious as she glanced down to the collar around her neck reflectively.

“Did you tell them?” she asked. Elsa’s situation, in this way, was unlike Angel’s. Elsa was home, her living family knew where she was and she’d offered Arendelle’s services. There was a tenderness to Elsa’s voice, a tentative hesitance that left room for Angel to decline answering if she so chose. She’d already shared enough that Elsa felt comfortable to ask about her loved ones and the situation involving her position the war, but wouldn’t be so wounded if she didn’t wish to speak of it. Her voice was soft, a gentle simmering presence amidst the crackling of the fire that seemed much louder in the quiet room they shared company in.