Put What We Had Aside

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Put What We Had Aside Nov 30, 2021 15:27:21 GMT

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Post by Squirrelflight on Nov 30, 2021 15:27:21 GMT

(ooc: Closed to Squirrelflight and Ashfur.)

There has to be some way out of here...

Not for the first time, Squirrelflight found herself sat below the entrance she had fallen into when Ashfur had led her there. No matter how she looked at it, she couldn't find a way to climb back up through it. There was attempting to find a wall, sure, but was that really her best option? It wasn't that she was ill-equipped for climbing. All cats could manage it if they tried their best, especially in ThunderClan. The issue was that the darkness made it hard for her to pick out any sort of place for her claws to find purchase for such a climb. Her fluffy tail lashed behind her in irritation the longer she thought about it.

If that really was her only option, then she might as well give it a whirl. She was going to make the attempt regardless of the darkness and steep upward climb. So, she made a blind leap at the nearest wall with the intention of doing just that. Unfortunately for her, she found the fact that her claws didn't have much to cling to was her undoing. She struggled for a few moments, finding purchase for only the briefest moment before her claws failed to find the next holding spot. With a surprised yowl, Squirrelflight fell backward and landed in a fluffy heap on the cold ground again. Back into the darkness from whence she came, it seemed. Her frustration mounted, and once again her fluffy tail lashed as a growl escaped her.

"Thistles and thorns! I hate this place, I hate it!" Squirrelflight yowled. There were fewer things she could think of that were more frustrating than being stuck in a world of shadows. Not even the dumbest hardheaded decision Brambleclaw had made could have compared. Brambleclaw...

Slowly, frustration turned to sorrow once more. She moved her paws and hugged them close to her face, shifting away from being able to look at that damned entrance in the process. All she wanted was her family. She wanted to go back to ThunderClan and collapse in her warm, familiar nest. Nothing against the Enchanted Suns, but she hadn't known them as long as her family. By the stars, she missed their familiar pelts and scents. Even Brambleclaw, who had been treating her so cruelly since the truth about Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather had come out, would have been a welcome sight. She didn't think she could ever see herself nuzzling into his familiar pelt or seeking warmth from him again, but by then she didn't care.

Even just one familiar face was all she wanted.

Last Edit: Nov 30, 2021 15:33:34 GMT by Squirrelflight

Ashfur

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Put What We Had Aside Nov 30, 2021 17:21:54 GMT

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Post by Ashfur on Nov 30, 2021 17:21:54 GMT

And a familiar face, albeit an unwanted one, was what she would get.

Ashfur had been stalking her through the underbrush for a good while. For such a wonderful and impressive hunter she was quite dense. She should have picked out his scent from miles away. Maybe she'd...forgotten his scent? He shook his pelt out. There was no way she could forget what he smelled like, he'd pushed her in a hole. Into the shadow realm where she'd remain forever until she agreed to be his and his alone. Not Brambleclaw's, HIS. His claws dug deeply into the dirt in front of him.

Deciding to make himself known to her. Leaping down from the hill he'd been perched on, the dark warrior slid in front of Squirrelflight, ears pinned back and a sinister grin on his face.

"Hello Squirrelflight," he purred, tail swishing behind him as excitement rushed through his pelt, "How do you like your new territory? Makes the dark forest look like WindClan territory, huh?" He snickered and waited for a response to how clever her was. They had all the time in the world. And that's exactly how Ashfur wanted it.

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Put What We Had Aside Nov 30, 2021 20:34:32 GMT

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Post by Squirrelflight on Nov 30, 2021 20:34:32 GMT

Well. She did want a familiar face, and she had gotten that much. That didn't mean she had to like it. Her paws had covered her nose, so for a few heartbeats she hadn't been able to scent Ashfur's presence. When she slowly started to move her paws away from her head, though, it hit her readily. She lifted her head and, as her ears folded back, a frown formed on her face.

"Hello, Ashfur," Squirrelflight said. "I'd hardly call it an improvement. WindClan territory at least feels friendlier than this." Her tail thumped against the grassy ground beneath her. WindClan territory also had much more to offer in terms of prey. Not that she'd hunted one herself, but she could have gone for a rabbit right then. Telling Ashfur that much, she imagined, wouldn't win her any sort of favors. She knew what he wanted. He wanted her to announce that she loved him as much as the moon and stars, and tell him that she'd abandon Brambleclaw in favor of him.

To be quite honest, with how things had been back home, a part of her had considered just giving Ashfur what he wanted. Squirrelflight knew that she couldn't do that, though. Even if she and Brambleclaw weren't on the best of terms right then, if she told Ashfur what he wanted to hear without feeling it herself then it wouldn't have been real.

"Did you just come to tell me I should be grateful to be here?" A hiss punctuated the thought. "You can't honestly expect me to be happy here." Or for anyone else to have been, either, for that matter.

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Put What We Had Aside Dec 1, 2021 1:27:19 GMT

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Post by Ashfur on Dec 1, 2021 1:27:19 GMT

Ashfur's ears flattened and a vicious snarl appeared on his face, muzzle rippling into a fighting hiss. Didn't she see what he was doing for her? He was showing her the error of her ways! Showing her she didn't need Brambleclaw and the rest of the clan including those bastard little kits she'd raised as her own. She didn't need Firestar with his brilliant ginger pelt or Leafpool with her knowing gaze. All she needed was him. And when she saw that she could go home. Not her home mind you but his home which was now the depths of the cursed castle. He padded closer to her, head lowered, looking as if he'd spring into action any moment.

"Of course you're not supposed to be happy here!" He whined, almost kitlike in his frustration. "You're not supposed to be happy anywhere where you're not with me!" He was throwing a borderline tantrum, stomping his paws into the dirt beneath his feet. He couldn't help it. This was her fault he was acting this way. HER'S. Her's and Brambleclaw's. And Jayfeather's. And Hollyleaf's. And Lionblaze's. Everyone's fault but his own. Hissing, he turned on her again.

"Don't you understand? When the twoleg in darkness asked for sacrifices I just had to give him you," he said, "He promised you'd be unharmed. But I know you hate this place. That's why I'm offering you a deal." Ashfur lept to the top of a sunken rock.

"Be my mate again," he hissed, "Or perish down here under the moonless sky."

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Put What We Had Aside Dec 1, 2021 21:43:07 GMT

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Post by Squirrelflight on Dec 1, 2021 21:43:07 GMT

In response to the hiss, Squirrelflight's tail thrashed back and forth like a whip and her ears fell back further. His whine almost would have been comical if it weren't for the fact that he'd lured her there and trapped her in darkness. He was acting like a kit. Squirrelflight was tempted to comment on that much, her jaws parted in preparation to do so, but she stopped herself. His second hiss seemed to punctuate the tantrum.

She watched him leap up onto the sunken rock, and slowly her ears returned to their normal position. Of course, it didn't take a genius to guess what his proposition was. She had the choice to either be his mate again, or beneath a moonless sky. Squirrelflight's conflicted feelings for Brambleclaw aside, she felt confident in her answer.

"Do you have bees in your brain? You tried to kill my..." Her voice trailed away. Squirrelflight wanted to call Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze hers again. But they weren't hers. They were her nephews and niece. Not her kits.

"...My nephews and niece," she mewed. Her claws dug into the earth again. "You lured my father away with a fake message all those moons ago to try and get him killed! Do you really think I would hold any affection for you after that?" Squirrelflight growled, and once again her ears pressed back against her skull. She had been the mousebrain that followed him into that realm of shadows, sure, but she wasn't foolish enough to just say she would be his mate after he had done all of that.

"And what's to say I won't be searched for?" Squirrelflight knew ThunderClan had reacted badly to learning the truth, but she still wanted to believe her parents and sister would still search for her. They had to.

"So I refuse your offer. And I refuse to die," Squirrelflight mewed. "My father will search for me. I'm sure of it."

He has to. The leader of ThunderClan wouldn't turn his back on his own kit. Right?

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Put What We Had Aside Dec 3, 2021 17:39:14 GMT

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Post by Ashfur on Dec 3, 2021 17:39:14 GMT

Ashfur froze, ears perked. He had never really known, or cared for that matter, about the actual paternity and maternity of the three. During his time in StarClan he'd tried his very best to steer clear of the pool where they looked down upon the living. He didn't want to see or smell or feel the warmth of Squirrelflight's face, especially if she was happy with Brambleclaw. But now she'd revealed the truth to him. That not only were the kits not her's but they belonged to none other than, "Leafpool."

"Oh really that's too perfect," he cackled, "Taking care of your sister's kits all those moons? I think the only thing more foolish about that is that I didn't see it coming." He lept down from the rock and started to circle Squirrelflight. "Oh that must have been so hard for you, Squirrelflight. Watching your sister's kits knowing they weren't really yours! Nor were they the great strong Brambleclaw's."

His tail lashed behind him as she spat out her words bravely. He rolled his ice blue eyes and chuckled softly.

"So you're noble still, bold and brave," he said, "But wouldn't it be so much easier if you just gave in? If you just returned my love like you're supposed to we wouldn't be having this problem!!"

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Put What We Had Aside Dec 3, 2021 19:37:58 GMT

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Post by Squirrelflight on Dec 3, 2021 19:37:58 GMT

He hadn't known?

Squirrelflight's pelt grew hot with embarrassment. She'd thought that, since Ashfur had evidently wound up at StarClan's doorstep at some point, he would have seen the way Hollyleaf had revealed the truth in front of every cat. The embarrassment faded, though, and soon she was watching Ashfur leap down from his rock and pad around her. Though he was taller than her, at least by a couple of inches, she stood on her tiptoes and puffed her fur out.

"It was hard," Squirrelflight confirmed. "Lying to Brambleclaw, my father, my mother... everyone. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I'd do it all again because I love my sister, too. I love her more than anything, and her kits too. Even though they weren't mine by birth, I loved them just as though they were my own!" She remembered the fire where she had confessed to Ashfur that she wasn't Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather's mother. She remembered the tone she had used when she had said it wouldn't hurt her if they died, but that had been a lie. She adored those kits. They weren't actually kits anymore, of course, but the point still stood.

Blood didn't matter as far as she was concerned. She had kittypet blood in her veins, and though Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather shared her sister's blood rather than her own they still were family. But, the conversation was quickly shifting again. She'd let herself go on a tangent and nearly missed Ashfur's questions. The fur along her back rose and she lowered herself into a crouch. A long growl escaped her.

"It would be easier," she confirmed, "but it would be a lie! I don't love you, Ashfur! I could never love you when you have it so far in your head that you're right! I don't owe you love!" She didn't owe him anything. Nor did she owe anyone else anything.

She just wanted to be happy at that point. Not that she would be if she stayed in that shadowy realm, but by then she would have preferred it to living a lie of a relationship with Ashfur. At least here, she could stand her ground.

Last Edit: Dec 3, 2021 19:40:04 GMT by Squirrelflight

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Put What We Had Aside Dec 11, 2021 15:58:13 GMT

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Post by Ashfur on Dec 11, 2021 15:58:13 GMT

His ears flattened. A look of hurt, pain almost flashed across his face. He wasn't twisting with sympathy, not at all. He lept down, approaching her, breathing rather heavily. "You didn't lie to anyone else? Anyone else very important?"

He slumped down on the ground. After all that time she still didn't understand how much she had hurt him. Would she ever? Yes, yes she would understand. She'd understand how much she'd sliced his heart open and destroyed him. He growled as she declared her love for kits that weren't hers. Kits that could have been his. He wouldn't have disowned her as he'd seen Brambleclaw do. HE would have tried to understand. When she growled at him it set him back a bit, shocking him with her words like he hadn't heard them 100 times before.

"Yes you do! You owe me love and you're sister's daughter owes me LIFE!" He was whining again, his claws extended like he was going to attack but he had no intention to.

"I don't understand! I was good enough for you when Brambleclaw had his head in the clouds, why can't I be good enough now?" He started circling her like a hawk circling prey. "After all I got into StarClan. How bad could I possibly be?"

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Put What We Had Aside Dec 12, 2021 0:15:39 GMT

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Post by Squirrelflight on Dec 12, 2021 0:15:39 GMT

Oh, she remembered. She remembered how he had yelled about how her turning him down had felt like he'd been sliced open every day. There had been a time when, for a while, she had considered that he was a better option for her than Brambleclaw in terms of being a mate. That was when he had been stuck with his head so far down the badger hole of trusting Hawkfrost that she had needed to distance herself. Back when, Ashfur had been a friend. Now it was like she was looking at a completely different cat. Had her rejection really changed him that much, she wondered. Or had Ashfur always been this way? Had he always just... hidden this side of himself until she'd chosen Brambleclaw in the end?

For the briefest moment, she saw his claws slide out. A small gasp crept out of her throat and she hopped back, fluffy tail curling protectively around her front as much as she could make it. Even if Ashfur wasn't going to attack in the end, and it did look like he just had been throwing another tantrum in the end, she felt like she needed that extra layer of protection. He was a StarClan cat, sure, but somehow he was as solid and real as he had ever been. It was almost like he was somehow able to make a physical body for himself.

Things were weird. Squirrelflight could accept that much. Maybe this was a result of her trusting his insistence that he knew where she'd be able to find Hollyleaf. Whatever the case, he was there now and once again insisting that he didn't understand. She shook her head vigorously. Maybe, Squirrelflight thought, if she just explained more then he would finally understand.

Stars, she could only hope that was the case.

"Uh, I don't know," Squirrelflight grasped. "Maybe it's because you threatened to murder my niece and nephews?? Or maybe because you insisted on bringing me to this place until I choose you over Brambleclaw??" Squirrelflight's mews rose an octave higher than she'd meant to, but she was getting frustrated. Not only that, but her head was swiveling back and forth to keep an eye on Ashfur as he circled her. He truly was treating her like a piece of prey now, she realized. It was time to step up and try to explain things to him. That was all she could do.

"You were my friend, Ashfur. So was Thornclaw. And you and I did have fun together. But you acted like I couldn't fight my own battles when Brambleclaw was being that mousebrained to me," she said. There was a plea in her tone. A hope, too, that he would finally listen. Perhaps it was naive of her think that he'd listen after all that time, but she had to try.

"And I don't know how you got into StarClan," she admitted. "But you sure aren't acting like a StarClan cat." Maybe someone up there had been able to look past his very obvious attempted murder and let him in. Yellowfang...? No. Surely not. Yellowfang had badgered her into raising Leafpool's kits as her own, at least initially, but surely she wouldn't be so mousebrained as to let Ashfur into StarClan when he had been a bad, bad kitty. She had to keep that thought to herself, though, and press on with her reasoning. Desperation hung in her grassy green eyes as she found the strength to keep going.

"Please, Ashfur, you have to understand. I never wanted to hurt you. What we had for a while was nice, but you have to put that aside now. Please, Ashfur... don't you see how mousebrained all of this is? Keeping me here like this? Treating me like I'm some prize that you deserve?"